Surgery is considered a “controlled injury” and while I realized it would require downtime and rehab, I hadn’t given this part of the process much thought. The focus had been mostly on the big day where finally a surgeon would “fix” me. haha. What was I thinking?
“Recovery” mentally feels like you are being held back by a giant rubber band, trying to run forward but that band keeps you from going too far, too fast. Picturing a rubber band feels better than imagining being on a leash and believe me there are enough people who could be holding the other end. I wouldn’t stand a chance in breaking free and taking off and as an “A-type” this is hard to take. Week after week, the resistance will weaken giving a bit more distance, ah, another life lesson in patience.
It was around day seven things were starting to sink in, the reality of recovery was becoming more and more apparent. While looking for some inspiration online, this quote was among the first few results, “Focus on what you want your life to look like – not just your body.” OMG! That’s when it hit me. Coming across this quote was like finally finding the light switch in a dark room. I’d been feeling around in the dark, grasping for something to hold on to, but looking in all the wrong places. All these years, I spent consumed about my body size, shape and the number that appeared on the scale. I never sat back and thought about what shape I wanted my life to take; I was too busy being obsessed with my body weight!
Over the past few months, I’d been trying to focus on making better decisions rather than buy into another plan. Because I honestly can’t take the thought of worrying or talking about my weight ANYMORE. I AM DONE! I am sick and tired of this conversation, with the feelings that come with it. I want to talk about how to get out of it, rather than about being in it.
So while I’m laid up, the focus turns to strengthing this beautiful body that has already accomplished and given me so much! Now is the time to slow down and take care of it, nourish it, love it and help it come back stronger than ever while pondering about what the future holds.