I have the t-shirt, take the courses and read the books and still from time to time a friendly reminder is required to be present. It’s incredible the thoughts and conversations and realizations had when we make some space. What the heck does that even mean you ask? Well, being present is being just that, living in the here and now, not worrying about what “COULD” happen or reliving the pain of the past. Accepting the situation for what it is, and just being in it.
Every circumstance you find yourself in offers another opportunity for presence. Contrary to suffering, knowing that what is here today is gone tomorrow, peace can be found. I talked about the impermanence of everything last time, and this still rings true if you step back and think about it. Think about a time you wanted to last forever, or perhaps the opposite, a time you wanted to be over immediately both situations, were in fact, temporary.
Expert, I’m not as I said above reminders are needed, especially when in the thick-of-it, but once that perspective comes to mind, the suffering eases. We can’t wish situations away, but we can be in them, to explore what we must, allow it to pass and let it go. The more we try to squeeze and cling to the memories or try to shove them deep down we suffer more and more, but as we learn to accept that everything is temporary, we free ourselves from the pain.
Personally, the struggle has been the lack of focus or “goal” to work towards, one that felt more significant, more extreme than an Ironman triathlon because well, once you’ve gone big, you can’t go back right? But how do we define significant? Why does it need to be something that pulverizes the body? Why can’t it be from a place of compassion and self-love? A dear friend shared her thoughts that living with the goal of a healthy self (for life) is way bigger than an Ironman could ever be and she’s right. You want to talk for the long haul, well that’s it isn’t it? Sure we can have checkpoints and milestones to stay on track and keep things interesting, but that’s #lifegoals, not just #yeargoals.
Digging up blog posts from eight years ago, the desire for motivation was real; it was what will “force me” to get my ass in shape and so began the chapters of ridiculous, huge ass goals. While there has been plenty of both joy and suffering in all shapes and forms since then, I’m glad to be on the other side of that now while I appreciate the experiences, learned a ton and had some serious personal growth there is much joy in knowing I’m putting it behind me. I’m exciting for the new adventures that await, the challenges and joys of navigating what now defines the “significant” goals I want to achieve in this life.
But for now, I’ll be here, riding the post-op waves, allowing myself to heal and rest. The last eight years I’ve kicked my ass physically, mentally and emotionally, so it’s about time for some downtime. Today marks half-way there, and as they say, the only way out is through.